Be Careful What You Wish For.

I think I coined a new phrase, “I feel blessed to not be wanted” or “How beautiful it is to get rejected!” What does it mean? Hmmmm.

I think I have finally entered an age where I have some kind of hindsight from which to operate. We all wish for a perfect romance, but I have gotten to see personally and vicariously the evil fruits of actually getting what you want. The classic “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” Here I thought that was just a Pussycat Dolls number lol.

The past few weeks of Mental Mindfucking have taught me a few things:

1) Let sleeping dogs lie. Chances are if you saw red flags in the past with someone whom you found very intriguing, your primal instincts were correct. Roll with it! Don’t second guess.

2) Don’t look at the past through “Rose Colored Lenses”. In other words, nostalgia can be a killer. It’s a treacherous path to follow when you look back on someone or somethingn you wish you had and forget very quickly that the Universe put you where it needs you to be for a second. Let the plan unfold. If you are like me, you tend to fight it hard. Sometimes you have to just sit back and watch, the best part of your own personal script is about to unfold. I liken to watching Fight Club or the Sixth Sense. If you quit on those movies about 2/3 of the way through, you miss the twist that defines the entire drama.

3) I look at the times I wished and prayed so hard for something only to get what I asked for and realize it wasn’t nearly as great as I wanted. Often it was something for which I would rather do without.

I realize that #3 is very confusing, because our wants and desires are hard to deny. However, I think of King Solomon in these moments. Don’t worry, I am not a “Bible Thumper”, if you couldn’t tell already! What I mean to say is, when people are told to make a wish they easily revert to the obvious such as, “I wish I was the richest person alive”, “I wish I was famous”, or “I wish ______ (insert name) would fall in love with me.”

When King Solomon was presented with this same dilemma he wished for wisdom. Solomon realized that great cunning and a quick wit were the tools by which he could build great power, but they would also access wealth, fame, and everything else a person could ever desire, both right and wrong.

You can’t build without a tool kit. Why not wish for the means to reach your desires? Look at ourselves and ask what we need to better ourselves.

I wish to be:

1) Loving so much so that I attract someone equally loving
2) Focused and Driven as to always have my eyes on the prize
3) Passionate so that I live every moment with depth and devotion
4) Thankful for the things I have. I mean truly thankful, since we rarely manage it.
5) Learning to truly be happy. This is the big one.
6) Be real. That’s the nouveau way of saying “To Thine Own Self Be True”.

This is when I entered a period of reconnecting with people from my past. Relationships got awry, “Houston, we have a problem” relationships that never launched, and the most common one – flirtatious flakes that never materialize into anything. The latter coming in abundance, because this is L.A. aka Dating Purgatory for crying out loud! Things fizzle simply because people in this town are always looking for something better, or they are desperate to be in the scene with all the wrong people, and then they have to audaciousness to wonder why they can’t meet Mister or Miss Right! HA!

The Kid a’int no flake, nor a Scenester, but the Kid does let a pretty face throw him for a loop. WTF? Hey, the truth hurts. Trust me, I put personality pretty high on the list. In a town full of beautiful, I have to keep my sanity by enjoying conversation. If the game was just about telling lies and getting laid, there would be no passion or joy. Remember, my wishes include to be loving and to be real.
Well, I should know a disaster in the making when I see one, yet somehow I walk around blind. Lady Justice is supposed to be blind (though she rarely is), but a Blind Dater in LA is just asking for a whooping. Welcome to my newest experiment. Farming through old contacts, Facebook, etc etc to reconnect with the past.

It’s here that I want to touch on a concept. Be thankful for the things you don’t have. Remember that job you wished you had gotten? Well, you were probably gonna be underpaid while working for the boss from hell. Remember that trip to the Bahamas you wish you had taken? All your friends lived it up! Had you gone, you would have had a tryst with someone you met at the resort and come back with home with an STD. Remember that person you wished from afar would see you for all your glory and fall madly in love with you? They would’ve ruined your life, left you in debt, and slept with your best friend. LOL I am NOT being negative. I am simply saying, be thankful for what you have, and KNOW that the Universe had your back every time it denied you all the things you foolishly thought you wanted or needed. Perhaps the Universe knows more than we know. Accept it!

Conversely, this is the point where I tempt fate by reaching into the past. I’d love to leave you in suspense, but there wouldn’t be much to this blog if this experiment were to work out. We’d be finished within 5 posts, and that’s simply no fun. Off to the races!